Self-Sabotage: You Want It But You Don’t Want It, Really?

Self-sabotage is that limiting program that stunts our progress, they are the ‘torn in our manifestation’ process. Psychology definition: “Self-sabotage occurs when we destroy ourselves physically, mentally, or emotionally or deliberately hinder our own success and wellbeing by undermining personal goals and values.” (Brenner, 2019)


Self-sabotage programs are elusive, meaning they are not readily available during healing or when we are sitting in a healing mediation unless they are brought to light (identified through journaling, talk therapy) for the purpose of healing. They often show up when we least expect them, and when we desire something, make a decision to get what we want (i.e. manifestation), on the edge of or out of our comfort zone. Have you ever wondered or experienced yourself on the verge of getting something that you so desire? What was running through your heart-mind then?


For example, if you land an interview for that job or role that you’ve been longing for, you begin to have a series of self-limiting thoughts alongside the positive self-affirming beliefs which can sometimes be like a tug of war in your mind and heart complex. Sieving out reality from illusion can be a mental and emotional drain. The failure script is already in motion before the actual success arrives – and soon enough the self-prophesy is fulfilled.


Effects of Self-Sabotage

Due to their elusive nature, self-sabotage can have you running on the proverbial hamster wheel of constantly feeling like your efforts to manifest the life of your dreams are out of reach. This is a false premise and perception. If not addressed at the appropriate time we lose sight of them and give up pursuing our goal.

  • Self-sabotage limits our perception of Self

  • Self-sabotage blocks our view from our innate Truth

  • Self-sabotage prevents honesty to Self

  • Self-sabotage is a destructive and distractive program that often us sway from our purpose

  • Self-sabotage inhibits progress and healing

  • Self-sabotage affect the nervous system and overall well-being


Self-Sabotage may look, sound, or feel like this or something similar:

  • This is too good to be true

  • I can’t allow myself to be happy if I do, I will get a slap in the face

  • If I get it I will mess it up (whatever ‘it’ is)

  • Having an unknown explainable fear and phobia

  • Having an unpleasant sensation or feeling in the heart or gut area

  • The monkey mind generates a litany of self-limiting beliefs and negative self-talk

  • I am not good enough to be it or to have it

  • I am not deserving of it

  • Its impossible and too hard (avoidance)

  • I am not very good at this…

  • I need this…before I can do it (excuse)

  • Hope it happens soon (wishful thinking) over an taking action

  • When I am in a better place emotionally, mentally, and physically…(condition as an excuse)

  • Feeling like you are cursed or being punished by a superior being

  • Fear of taking action towards achieving the goal and want

  • Body sensations, panic attacks, racing heart palpitations, pains, sweaty palms, tremors, dreams including nightmares, daydreams, anxiety, depression, indecision, etc.

Spot Self-Sabotage

It is a great feeling when our efforts have finally paid off by getting what we want. The height of this excitement can bring up some mixed emotions and feelings. Some of these emotions and feelings while valid at some point can be detrimental in the long run (if not addressed) especially when they are contrary and limit our ability and capacity to make continuous progress.

Using these simple tools and methods you can spot self-sabotage as they come up in real-time for healing:

  • Awareness is the first principle of healing and transformation. Nothing unknown can be healed and transformed.

  • Make time for yourself purposely for exploring your self-sabotage program.

  • Visualise a dream come true and explore the emotions and feelings that are triggered, write them down in a notebook, journal or video yourself.

  • Test your comfort zone by doing something new.

  • Our surrounding is a good trigger of feelings and emotions pay attention to them. Breathwork and bodywork help the release.

One-to-One clearing sessions available here and the upcoming online event to address self-sabotage.




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